Reply to Why Is My 16 Year Old Son A Raging Asshat?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If he doesn't shower or brush his teeth that may be a real sign of depression.  Most boys I know this age are actually pretty focused on hygiene (because of girls), and kids who play sports tend to shower pretty regularly.  It may be that taking away the things he likes to do have created a downward spiral and exacerbated depression?  I would get him checked out pretty quickly so that it doesn't affect his school year - presumably he's a junior which is the most important year for college admissions so if, as you say, your aim is to get him out of the house as fast as possible you probably want to make sure he does reasonably well this year.

I would also suggest counseling or parenting classes for you as some professional advice on how to respond to him would probably be helpful.  Maybe a little positive reinforcement now and again would be helpful.  [b]You haven't said a single postiive thing about him on this thread[/b].  He must do something that you are proud of?  He actually sounds to me like a pretty good/normal teenage boy.  [b]Your language and attitude are so negative and combative so it's not surprising that things have gotten so bad.[/b][/quote]

He's great with the hygiene when a girl pops into the picture, when she drifts away he gets lax on the showers. He does tons I'm proud of. I'm just very fed up with the talking back, debating, and challenging me. I'm venting about a very specific issue, not a 100% negative feeling towards my child. He IS a good person and I love him. He does many things well, he is a great student, however I am not going to allow him to swear at me, yell in my face, or debate everything I say.

It's tough to come online and explain what's bothering you. I'm talking about ONE area of issue I'm having. Im complaining & venting about a few behaviors to an online community. I apologize for not sounding like soozy sunshine, I really do. I am not here to highlight to good right now, I am here to seek advice about what is bothering me and that is the mouthing off, debating, and talking back. I speak to him with kindness and respect. I listen to him and really hear what he is saying because I care. Anytime I open my mouth he rages at me. He swears. He yells. He debates everything I say. He challenges me. He sucks every bit of energy I have out of me. I apologize for not focusing on how great he is here, but the great isn't the issue obviously, the constant arguing and debating is.

And again, I have said MANY positive things about him, please go back and re-read my posts if you do not think I have.[/quote]

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