Reply to How to relate to SIL who shows no unhappy emotions ever?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I relate to the sister too. The only people I show negative emotions to are my husband and mother. I.e. the two people who love me no matter what. And even then I try to limit it because I don't want to see my ugly side or use them as my emotional punching bags.

With friends, even my closest friends, I would never venture to do more than kind of laughingly complain about some issue. Like I might say staying at home is "kind of boring but at least we're getting so much family time!" I would never just out and out complain. And certainly not about anything serious like my relationship or kids.[/quote]

Well, that sounds more fake than private to me. [/quote]

What is fake about it? Some people don't have messy personal problems that they need to hash out all the time.[/quote]

It sounds like you are so worried about what people think about you that you actively hide negative things and negative emotions.  You think THEY will think less of you.  That's fake.  And sad.  People have shit.  Being able to share the realities of your life - the good and the bad - is what builds true, deep, intimate friendships.

We ALL have problems, even people like me, who have a pretty great life.  To actively hide the negative side to things, is fake.  You are pretending to the world that you don't have "not so great" things that happen in your life. I'm not talking about unloading about your abusive childhood, but not even complaining about the three months of lock down that we've experienced?  That's just pathological. It's not that you don't have bad stuff to talk about, its that you just save it for your husband and mom.

Let it go sister, let the facade crack a little, we all know you aren't telling 100% of the truth about how much you love quarantine, your mom needs a break.
[/quote]

Oh I get it. You like feeling superior to others. The more "real" they are, the more you "win." LOL keep trying! -NP[/quote]

There is no winning, I was just defining what FAKE means.  There is no superior, that is just the myth fake people tell themselves and WHY they insist on curating their presentation to other people.  [/quote]

No one needs to be "authentic" by your definition to please you. No one needs to make a presentation that is pleasing to you. No one needs to confide in you. The world does not owe you closeness, friendship, realness, or transparency.

Stay mad, though. It's genuinely amusing to private people like me how much it bothers over-sharers like you. [/quote]

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