Reply to Disclosing abortion to past boyfriend

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op, there is a BIG difference between telling him in the first 3 years and telling him 20 years later. I've also had an abortion so I do get it.

But 20 years later, it should not be impacting you this much.  You need to have your husband step up and take over some things so you can get therapy. No excuses.  You need to do this for you.  There is no reason you can't carve out 1 hr a week (I like online therapy) to help yourself [/quote]

This. Three years ago and twenty years ago are completely different. What a therapist recommended three years ago is completely different from what a therapist would recommend about something that occured twenty years in the past.

OP, the boyfriend really didn't want to get married and have children then, he shouldn't have really been having sex in the first place since he knew that, and you were all over the place with the pills, day after pill versus abortion, etc...

OP, your obsession about what happened 20 years ago is hurting your life now. The boyfriend obviously didn't care that much and moved on. He probably wouldn't have cared, and may have been furious and dumped you, if he knew you became pregnant partially as a result of being careless with medication. After being very clear he did not want kids with you then.
Stop obsessing. Because the obsessing sounds like it's the real problem.

See a new therapist now. Heck, even a cheap online therapist might be better than dredging up advice from 17 years ago. Or, at least go to a PhD / MD therapist to be evaluated and then try some meds.

When I entered middle age, I had lots of "what if" regrets at that time too. They weren't really rational and took a lot away from my actual life. Therapy did help.

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