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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My DW has been co sleeping with our 13 month old son since he was about 3 months old. They have a very close bond and she’s a fantastic mother.

But I miss my wife. I miss having evenings with her. Often times she or I will put him down in and then she goes to bed about an hour or two later. If we’re intimate, it’s only in the shower. I’d like to have another child one day and she’s intent on continuing to co sleep with BOTH kids. She child proofed the bedroom and bought a king sized bed and it’s on the floor with a frame that’s low to the ground. Our son had a custom Montessori floor bed in his room.

I tried to put our son down in his room alone last night and he went down just fine. He woke after about two hours crying and could not be consoled by me. It’s very clear my DW is the preferred parent and she was very distressed at the idea of not sleeping next to our DS.

Im concerned my wife and son are almost too attached to eachother. My wife is into the whole gamet: slings, wraps, Montessori preschools and attachment parenting. I’m not sure I buy into all of it but I play along. I just wish they could sleep apart for ONE night.  [/quote]

You've got two issues here - one is immediate and one is long term. Both involve you sitting down and having a serious talk with your wife.

Co-sleeping may be working for your wife and son, but it's not working for your family because you feel disconnected and shut out. You obviously need to talk to your wife about this. I think it would likely go a long way with your wife if you research and offer to take the lead on transitioning him into his own room and acknowledge her feelings. This may mean some sleepless nights of rocking and comforting your son, so be prepared. I think it's pretty unlikely your wife is going to go for crying it out.

And that brings me to the long-term. You need to stop "playing along." It's very clear that your wife is pretty invested in what she thinks is the right way to parent. TBH, slings, wraps, Montessori preschool are all a net neutral. I would not die on any of those hills (although true Montessori is not really congruent with attachment parenting, but I digress). But I would start having the discussion with her about why/perceived benefits, etc. Or you are going to wake up one day and realize that you don't have much of a voice at all in schooling/parenting/activities.[/quote]

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