Reply to Do you raise your children differently given what you know about relationships?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have daughters. I hesitated getting married because the first fight I had with my ex-DH at 4 months of dating is that his future wife had to earn 100k a year. I was appalled. I said I would never have his kids.

I overlooked the argument. Biggest mistake of my life. Fast forward pressured me into pregnancy. Could not get out easily. Second accident kid a few years later.

A crappy 10-year marriage and he did marry me for my earning power. 100% But he also expected me to follow him (and I did) to the detriment of my own career and be a WOH mom and a SAM in one person. Misery.

I have already told my daughters they do not have to get married. They do not have to have kids. It is their choice. I just want them to be happy. They are not old enough to date so I do not have advice on choosing a husband but I could say some things. But mostly, my advice would be "don't do it." I do not see any advantage for women nowadays if they woman works outside the home. None.

I am [/quote]

Respectfully, this sounds like an argument for teaching your kids not to ignore red flags like you did, rather than a cautionary tale about marriage.[/quote]

I am like you, PP. I have told my kids that there are other ways to happiness and wellness than marriage. No need to get married or have kids.  Know yourself, determine what your goals are and lay down the tracks to get there. Then put yourself first, because noone else will.[/quote]

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