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[quote=Anonymous]As a nanny I have had the experience of actual twins, Irish twins, 2-under-2, 3-under-3, etc. (I’ve been a nanny for a looong time! :D ).

The biggest thing you can do is to prepare your older for the baby by thinking through your routine and making space for newborn care.

—outings: where are the small, fenced-in local parks?  Will the season mean that you need to do some indoor outings too?  If so, which ones are both manageable with a newborn and relatively less germy.

—sleep training: if your first isn’t STTN reliably, make that a priority ASAP.  Get a solid nap schedule in place and a solid bedtime routine

—meals: make sure your first can self-feed safely to some extent.  Plan ahead and choose a few favorite foods to stock up on (e.g., if your toddler likes oatmeal, I would be batch-cooking steel cut oats with fruit and cinnamon and whatever else and freezing in individual portions).  Muffins tins are great for freezing the right amount for one toddler meal.  You want to always have at least one low-maintenance food you can quickly serve.  Think about your toddler’s diet and try to move towards easier foods where you can.  E.g., if your kid like steamed carrots, see if you can get them into baked sweet potatoes because those you just stick in the toaster oven and forget about vs. having to supervise something as it steams.

—house rules: think about the rules you currently enforce and how they might need to change due to having a baby.  Does the current routine require you to lift toddler into the high chair, for example?  Replace it with a chair he can climb into.  Does your toddler know how to wait a minute for something he needs?  If not, introduce some silly games, songs, stories, finger plays, etc. that you initially do together with your toddler (think “itsy bitsy spider”), then over time you can transition to doing less until you can just sing the song and your toddler does the motions.  This helps you to distract him while you prep a bottle or burp a baby.

Physical space—It is hugely helpful to create a “room of yes” where your kid could be locked in and remain completely safe if necessary—furniture bolted to the wall, outlets completely covered, no choking hazards, nothing climbable, etc.  You may need to stash toddler somewhere in a diaper emergency, so it’s useful to have a way to lock them in, whether that is a gate on the door or reversing the handle.  Mostly, though this room is for you to sit and nurse the baby somewhere that the toddler can freely run and play and you won’t have to stop to rescue him.

Routine: Build a space into your daily routines for you to focus on the baby for a moment.  E.g., with 2 you twins and a newborn, I trained the twins before the baby was born to color for about 5 minutes before each meal.  They would sit at their little table, get crayons out, get paper and sit and color. For younger kids I have done play-dough or sensory bags/jars.  But build it into the routine so that you can pause and focus on the baby for a minute without having to come up with something in the moment to distract toddler.[/quote]

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