Reply to Feeling hopeless about my marriage

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

So thanks for posting this.  It is helpful to understand the other perspective.
One thing I genuinely wonder about is why do men constantly want to feel like they are loved/cared for where as I don’t hear women saying this.  It just seems a bit needy to me and maybe someone who’s not a strong person (again, not meaning to be negative but rather for discussion purpose).  I am wondering what is your perspective?   What if your wives so mean it and say they love you, isn’t that sufficient?[/quote]

Well, thank goodness you didn't mean it negatively.   :?

I can't speak for all men.  Nor can I agree with your hypothesis that women never express dissatisfaction with a distant spouse.  A growing body of literature suggests that I do feel this stuff more acutely than a neurotypical person.  But with that said, I don't think I'm that special a snowflake.  I mean, it's not enough for her for me to [i][b]say[/i][/b] that I'm going to tidy up every night either.  She understandably expects me to do it.  And when I don't, she takes that as evidence that I don't care about what she's facing and how overwhelmed she's feeling.  Well, that's how I feel about physical expressions of affection.

[/quote]

So thanks for responding so graciously.

I guess the thing is that what women are asking for (more help with kids/home) benefits the family whereas what you want (touch) is for personal benefit.

So that is where it could be perceived as needy (couldn’t find a better word—sorry).  Just one perspective.
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