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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "Therapist Won't Condemn my Partner's Affair."
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I recommend reading The State of Affairs by well-respected couples' therapist Esther Perel. OP, it is so hurtful when a spouse goes outside the marriage to meet needs, and breaks vows. But the reasons for an affair are complex and you're not going to find peace looking to blame him alone. If he's simply a bad person, leave him. If he's not, share in discovering why he did what he did and [b]what responsibility you bear for what wasn't right in the relationship.[/b][/quote] That's not actually what she said. What Perel urges is trying to understand why your partner did what they did. NOT that every victim is somehow responsible for the affair. I've listened to her podcasts, and she can be quite blunt and direct with the partner who behaved badly. Her main difference is that she tries to get the wronged partner to understand what happened and see if the relationship can survive and change. [/quote]
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