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[quote=Anonymous][quote]you're mad that he worked so hard to further his career (and presumably, make a better life for his family, including kids, when they showed up). [/quote]

I dont think most folks understand what was happening. Going from post doc to post doc or temporary positions for 5 years after your PhD is not furthering your career. If he's in a technical field he should have left and gotten a job...and it also makes no sense to to until he had tenure track job to have a kid because that's when there is huge work pressure to get tenure, to publish, work a ton.  I have a lot of phds in the family (myself included) and both my brother and I chose to go into para academic fields rather that spend out late 20s/early 30s adjuncting or doing post docs and then doing another 5-7 years for tenure

Op, how old is your dh?

I agree that it's odd to end it now and you could adopt but sometimes you realize you can't get past the resentment.plus I doubt he'd be around as a parent during this time since if he failed to get tenure that would be worse. [/quote]

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