Reply to If your MIL snuck into your house and cleaned it...

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "If your MIL snuck into your house and cleaned it..."

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My MIL is like yours and we did have to cut her off for a year when she was at her most abusive towards us. She also once snuck into our house and cleaned it. There are a few great books about dealing with mothers who are abusive or narcissistic and I’d suggest reading those since it gave me a great map for dealing with my MIL.

I’d suggest not focusing on the cleaning and more on the big-picture boundaries that you’d like to establish. The cleaning can be an unhelpful distraction—if she’s like my MIl, if you focus on the cleaning she’ll launch into her rant about how none of us appreciate her and how she’s sacrificed so much for her kids.[/quote]

I think this is a good suggestion. Focusing on the cleaning and pillows is counterproductive. SIL needs to move out. She has been there long enough, and even if her mother is difficult, she needs to go and stay there now. With your situation--working from home, 3 kids and pregnant--you should not have to deal with all of this on an ongoing basis. It was great that you allowed her to stay for as long as she has, but it's time she go to MIL's.

As to MIL, you need to set up boundaries. I know this is hard because you actually care and don't want MIL to be upset, in turn upsetting your DH. But DH has to step up and deal with his mother and sister. I think it's inconsiderate that he is allowing you to have to manage all of this. And he can still be a great husband, but it's gone on long enough. He needs to understand this is too much. He probably doesn't want to deal so puts it out of his head when he gets to leave the house and go to work.

The fact is, your MIL will not change. And neither will your SIL who is perfectly happy to stay with you for as long as she can get away with it. But you need your life and house back. And DH needs to facilitate that.

[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics