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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. I have told him that I don't see myself ever being a SAHM. He is not wrong in what he wants. He grew up in nice suburb with a mom who stayed home until he went to school. He loved being able to have a mom who was there with him in his most formative years, and parents who were always there to help with homework, make dinner, go to his school events, etc. He wants the same for his kids. I can't fault him for that. It is weighing on me the more we start to get serious. He thinks I will change my mind once we have kids, or be willing to go part-time. I don't want to to do either of those things. [/quote]

Where was his father in being there for the formative years, making dinner, helping with schoolwork? The troubling part isn’t that he wants someone there that help with homework, make dinners, and go to school events, but that he only sees one way of that happening and that’s for you to be a SAHM.  He could be in a more flexible job, you could have a a parent that lives nearby willing to pick up from daycare, you could have a great nanny, someone could have a job working from home with a nanny or babysitter.  Being a team means you both work together and each person is willing to make sacrifices, not expecting the other person to make all the sacrifices/compromises.  You could change your mind about SAHM once you have kids. You can’t predict the future of you will feel or the child you will have, but again the key is how you work together to deal with the situation.  I’m with the pp that said it’s taking a hard line that’s the problem.  There are some situations that have no compromises like having kids or not, getting married or not, but most have some sort of compromise or multiple ways you can get to some of what the person values.  If the person is my way of the highway, he isn’t perfect for you unless you happen to always align with what he wants or you are fine never advocating for yourself.[/quote]

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