Reply to I can’t stand my 4.5 year old

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP:  I’m the mom of the two autistic kids.  I didn’t mean to suggest that you were depressed as in having a mental illness. [b] But you do sound tired and burned out with your daughter, and your frustration tolerance with her is clearly low. [/b] It sounds like a hard situation for you, her and everyone.

[b]Please prioritize looking into an evaluation for her.  She may just be challenging because she is, but there’s also a good chance she needs some expert intervention.  I’m assuming she’ll be in school full time next year, and the sooner you get a handle on what’s causing her needs the better.[/b]

My guess is you’re not a perfect parent.  I’m not.  Nor are most of us.  And behaviorally challenged kids can bring out the worst in us.  (I’ve had some moments I’m not proud of.). But understanding your kids is the first step in helping them.  And for me, learning why my kids were prone to meltdowns, couldn’t follow directions, etc., has certainly helped me have compassion for them—even during their most challenging moments l.

Good luck.  And hang in there.[/quote]

I agree with this PP: Approach it from both ends. I know a few kids that were like your four year old at that age that have diagnoses as older kids. Get in there and figure it out--the family history of bipolar would be enough to make me really push to address things sooner than later.

But, the other end is you. Whether you count as depressed or not, you need something that helps refresh you, some kind of break. Plan things that make you happy, both solo and with the kids. Go for easy wins, and let go things that are hard to the extent you can. Divide and conquer with your spouse to get one on one or one on two time with the kids for both of you.  All that can help too.

Hang in there--being honest about your feelings on an online forum doesn't make you a bad mom. You're allowed to say how hard it is--and you're a good mom for seeking help and trying to do something about a difficult situation. [/quote]

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