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[quote=Anonymous]Do you have significant assets and that’s why you made your DW sign a prenup? Your finances are separate which must be making DW feel insecure and she’s also getting bad advice from nosy women. Even if the idea of getting a “wife” house/account appealed to her, she shouldn’t have just sprung it up on you as if you’re going to comply. She sounds young and not so savvy enough to be a gold digger. ?

You have been married only 3 years so it’s early but you have to set the tone right and you can make some changes so you’re on the right path. If there isn’t trust and things aren’t done jointly then it’ll be difficult to move things forward without resentment and build a life together. What if you guys have kids and she wants to sahm and doesn’t make her own income? Will you support that or would you want her to continue working and expect both to pay for a nanny/daycare?

FWIW, I’m Asian, DH’s Asian. I owned a house before we met and then sold it after we married and DH wanted nothing to do with it and wanted me to keep all my money and earnings in a separate account.  We also paid for our wedding together since we could afford it and didn’t want our parents getting involved.   We also discussed before marriage that being a SAHM was important to me and he agreed so that’s what I did soon after having a baby. After we got married, we lived on the money he brought in even though I worked as well. When I stopped working, we continued to keep separate accounts but also have a joint account so the big expenses like the mortgage gets paid from his account and I take a small monthly amount to spend on monthly expenses.   I know I’m lucky that DH doesn’t micromanage and doesn’t care how I use our money but I also don’t spend carelessly so there’s no need for him to worry.  We have assets and investments that he always puts both of our names on and he always got life insurance upped each time we had another kid so that if anything were to happen to him, we would be protected. DH has made me feel secure without me having to say anything and has made me feel like an equal partner even though he now makes 10x more than he did at the beginning of our marriage.  We remained the same and our spending remained the same.  I know that had he approached our finances differently we would be at a different place  now and maybe I would’ve resorted to a more hoarding behavior and putting money aside to protect myself in case we divorced.  [/quote]

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