Reply to Found out the guy I’m dating is waiting until marriage...

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[quote=Anonymous]Sooo, I have some personal experience. He wasn’t deliberately waiting. Just from a religious family and a virgin.

I too came from an evangelical background which, while I had walked away from it, can create complicated feelings about sexual relationships. Your guy may have some baggage about sex when he starts to engage in it. With all of the messaging within some Christian communities about sex being dirty, bad, sinful, etc. outside of marriage, it’s really hard to flip a switch psychologically on one’s wedding day and enjoy it guilt-free.

My other caution is that some people are just bad at sex. Having multiple partners and time helps you learn to be better. But if you rob yourself of both, there’s no way to get better. It’s really, really difficult to be partnered with someone you love personally who’s just terrible at the act. Yes, communication helps. But it’s a little like teaching a non-athletic person to dance late in life without being able to take lessons or watch other people. Once the initial enthusiasm for each other dies down, you can end up stuck with a clueless partner, and it’s a challenging thing to navigate.[/quote]

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