Reply to Neighbor girl comes over everyday to play, every day

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We live in a townhouse complex with a lot of similar-aged kids going to the same public school. The kids like to play outside (bike around the cul de sac, play basketball, jump rope, dig dirt, etc.) for hours after school and in the weekends. 
OP, do your kids like to play with this girl? Let them play outside but set a boundary that once your kids are back in the house, then playdate is over. [/quote]

This is how I grew up too. We played together almost every day, outside or inside. I am surprised both the older and younger daughters don’t have their own groups of neighborhood friends to play with it. Afterward, everyone would go home for dinner and homework.  Plenty of time for sibling bonding otherwise. It’s hard for me to understand why this is a problem.  I guess I’m not ready for modern parenting — it feels like micromanaging your child’s free time and relationships to me. [/quote]

In this case OP is trying to protect her kids' and family's time from a daily interruption. Play dates are great. Daily uninvited, expected arrivals are not play dates. Not sure why so many PPs think this situation is somehow just fine. [/quote]

We think it’s fine because by the time we were 6, we were making and accepting our own plans/play dates with neighbor children. My parents would only need to set up a play date with someone that lived outside of walking distance and so an adult needed to drive. It was also just expected we would play together everyday, unless someone had a music lesson or sports practice or something. There was no need for an “invite” or adult involvement at all. You’d get off the bus together, get a snack together or separately, and then meet up again as planned. If a kid came to the door, mom would shout “so and so is here to see you,” and you could decide for yourself if you wanted to play with that person that day.  The mere idea that parents need to “protect” and plan their child’s time immediately after school is strange to me.  There was plenty of time for dinner and homework after free play time. 
[/quote]

But you do get that OP's specific situation is not like what you did as a child--right?

If she/her kids are not able to play that day, this child cries on their porch. And there's an obvious expectation by both the girl and her parents that she can go to OP's daily and...cry if she is told "no."

That's what I meant by OP wanting to protect some of her family time from this other family that is clueless about boundaries. It's great that you could say yes or no to playing when you wanted as a kid, but that's not what's going on with OP's situation. She needs to say no and in this case she needs to involve the other parents. Great that by six you were arranging your play time but that doesn't work for OP and it's fine if it doesn't.

And it's not universal that "it was just expected that we would play together every day," then or now. That was your experience but is not what's going on here. [/quote]

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