Reply to Wife is interested in opening up our marriage.

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Reply to "Wife is interested in opening up our marriage."

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[quote=Anonymous]What kind of 32 year old talks about "hippie new age" stuff?  That is a much older person way of framing it.  Hippies were the 60s and new age was in the 80s.  "Ethical non-monogamy" is totally millennial.

The fact that he calls it "hippie new age" stuff and has such distain for the kinky things he's already been doing with his wife makes me think they are just a mismatch and there's not a lot of room for compromise here.  He feels like he's already compromised, and doesn't seem to value much of anything that's come out of it.  If anything, he's tolerated his wife's "sluttyness" thus far but ultimately just wishes it would go away.

I think he should listen to the entire archives of Dan Savage's podcast and if, after that, he still feels the same way, then they may have to have a conversation about going their separate ways.

And that doesn't mean I think he has to agree to open up the marriage.  I just think he has to be willing to talk about it and his feelings associated without seeing her interest in it as disgusting and shameful.  There are plenty of kinks that are physically impossible to actually do, but people get off thinking about them and talking about them and whatnot.  He doesn't have to do it, but if he continues to be disgusted by the fact that he even has to think about it, well, that doesn't bode well for these two.  [/quote]

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