Reply to What haven’t you told your husband from your pre-relationship days?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Taking specific sex acts off the table is never a great move for either gender. Things aren't a "try it once"...often different people, different situations, different preparation makes all the difference. Things I did in college that weren't great experiences are amazing with dh. And, sometimes in a relationship it makes sense to prioritize your partner's experience and pleasure.[/quote]

I'm actually pretty okay with taking certain things off the table all together.

Forget about a-sex for a second since that one seems to be triggering for a lot of men who desperately want it. Think about other things.

For example, as a survivor of sexual assault, I'm 100% comfortable with saying "I am not going to participate in sex where my partner is violent." If my husband was like, "Oh come on, just a little light choking! Preparation makes all the difference!" should I consider letting him choke me just because he's a different person (e.g., not a rapist) and the situation is different (e.g., consensual sex vs. rape)?

People get to define what they are and are not comfortable with. If one person says XYZ is not on the menu, as a respectful partner, I am personally going to assume that it's off the menu because they are not comfortable doing it and I'm not about to pressure someone to do something sexually that they're not comfortable with, even if XYZ is my favorite sexual thing ever.[/quote]

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