Reply to Never thought I would be that guy

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Can you handle your wife getting a second wind via an affair or new SO post divorce? Word spreading through your family and social circle that your midlife crisis is wreaking havoc on your family?

I’m a single woman who had an emotional affair (we also made out but no sex, thanks to me) with a married man years ago. Lasted about a year. Wasn’t looking for it, didn’t know he was married initially. I cut things off abruptly before it progressed physically (matter of time) and because I deserved someone available. Amazing chemistry though. I know of the feeling you describe. I really appreciated him and found him beautiful and I could tell he was hooked on the admiration.

I think you need to have a difficult conversation at home about the state of your marriage. I’m not encouraging you to fess up, but to get to the root of the problem. You’re not a victim. You’ve grown complacent in your resentment. If sex isn’t happening, talk about how it makes you feel when you’re rejected. You’re taking a major risk here which could blow up several lives.[/quote]

"the root of the problem", he doesn't need to talk about that, he needs to look in the mirror.  There is the root. He is a man who lies to people he supposedly loves, a man who puts himself first over all others, a man who breaks his vows, leads a double life, has no honor or integrity.         Do you think the first time he has acted like this was when he slept with another woman?   Nope.  That's him.    If one person in the marriage is leading a double life, the other person may not know what exactly is happening but the effects are the same.  A wall where there should be openness, distance where their should be intimacy and so on.

Tell your wife about the affair now so she can live a life she deserves. [/quote]

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