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[quote=Anonymous]I grew up with a brother 5.5 years older and sisters 8 and 11 years younger, and while I love them, its a different relationship. Also things like vacations get pretty boring bc you often are stuck catering to the younger kids.

Mine are 2 years 8 months apart (2 years in school) and its a love/hate relationship haha. But they have a lot of the same neighborhood friends, and go to some of the same activities, camps etc. Now that they are 9 and almost 12 we are actually working on creating some healthy separation. That said they fight like cats and dogs, and mainly because the 9 year old is kind of a little turd, and the oldest is pretty domineering. But they definitely are connected to each other.

Also, when the youngest was born, it really wasn't that hard. Oldest was potty trained, and other than being an awful napper, was a really sunny, easy child who never really had tantrums. She was pretty mature for her age and was excited to have a baby sister, I never really saw jealousy. Its a good thing because little sister was a harder kid (fairly easy baby though).

From seeing family dynamics with lots of friends and in my own, I think the 4-6 year gap is the worst for the kids relationship. Too big of a gap to play, but little sibling desperately wants to be included. My friends with this age gap deals with lots of fighting and crying, and anger that they are too young to do what big sibling is doing. Age 4-6 is a big age for developing jealous behaviors. 3 and under is hard when they are little, but much easier when they are older and once you get to age 7/8 and up, older siblings are helpful and bond as more of an auntie/uncle or babysitter.

This does end up depending on personality too - some siblings farther apart can get along great, and some can hate each other even being close in age (I know twins who don't like each other at all!) but all other things being equal, 3 years or less is better. [/quote]

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