Anonymous wrote:Asap. Getting pregnant ASAP, get the baby years over with at once and watch them grow with a strong bond

If you know two is limit, then I think two under two is best. Gets the baby stuff done, it’s gonan be chaos anyway, and you may as well cram the sleepless years together.

15 months apart. That's what me and my my siblings are, and it's great. So that's what i did with my own kids.

I grew up with a brother 5.5 years older and sisters 8 and 11 years younger, and while I love them, its a different relationship. Also things like vacations get pretty boring bc you often are stuck catering to the younger kids.

Mine are 2 years 8 months apart (2 years in school) and its a love/hate relationship haha. But they have a lot of the same neighborhood friends, and go to some of the same activities, camps etc. Now that they are 9 and almost 12 we are actually working on creating some healthy separation. That said they fight like cats and dogs, and mainly because the 9 year old is kind of a little turd, and the oldest is pretty domineering. But they definitely are connected to each other.

Also, when the youngest was born, it really wasn't that hard. Oldest was potty trained, and other than being an awful napper, was a really sunny, easy child who never really had tantrums. She was pretty mature for her age and was excited to have a baby sister, I never really saw jealousy. Its a good thing because little sister was a harder kid (fairly easy baby though).

From seeing family dynamics with lots of friends and in my own, I think the 4-6 year gap is the worst for the kids relationship. Too big of a gap to play, but little sibling desperately wants to be included. My friends with this age gap deals with lots of fighting and crying, and anger that they are too young to do what big sibling is doing. Age 4-6 is a big age for developing jealous behaviors. 3 and under is hard when they are little, but much easier when they are older and once you get to age 7/8 and up, older siblings are helpful and bond as more of an auntie/uncle or babysitter.

This does end up depending on personality too - some siblings farther apart can get along great, and some can hate each other even being close in age (I know twins who don't like each other at all!) but all other things being equal, 3 years or less is better.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP- thanks everyone! I have a six month old and were considering starting to try again. I'm an old child and DH is one of six so we're interested in the dynamics of two siblings. FWIW my friends who are closest/friendliest with the siblings are very close in age to them.

Ours are 18 months apart and I LOVE IT! Zero jealousy...my son hardly noticed that the baby came home. They both napped at the same time. They’re 2.5 and just turned 4 and I love it. My friends all did the 2 year.m age gap and had such a hard time! GO FOR IT

Op should be mindful of her health and the second baby before she tries to conceive again. Only she and her doctor can tell her this but, ultimately I was told the older child should be at least 18 months for the babies' health. Apparently, too far apart isn't good for the mother's health. ( more than 59 months) Then again, not everything in life can be perfect and you deal the hand you are dealt.

Good luck! Mine are three years apart and it worked for us.

3-4 years.

Mine are 27 months apart

There is no perfect age gap, at least not one that parents can plan to have their kids around. You get what you get and roll with it!

There is no "best" age range and you will become biased to think your kids' spacing great or terrible depending on how they end up getting along, which is really a crapshoot. Don't plan for any specific gap based on anecdata.

3 years!!! Two girls.

This spacing turned out to be perfect because they're close enough to play together well but spaced far enough apart to have their own interests, friends, etc.

Girls are now 9 and 12 and best of buddies.

18-24 months apart. Harder on you, but the older will still be young enough to not go through crazy toddler trantrums during the transition. Mine are 21 months apart and it has been way smoother than I thought it would be.

My girls are three years apart and I love it! The older one takes pride in caring for her younger sister/showing her how to do things/etc., and the younger one ADORES her big sister and wants to be just like her. They're super sweet.

It was also really wonderful not to have two kids in diapers at the same time. Older child was fully potty trained by the time baby was born!

Our kids (opposite sex) are 2 years apart and I would prefer a little more of a gap - maybe 2.5-3 years. It's finally getting easier at 5 and 3, but it makes me feel like I missed some of each of their babyhoods because we were in survival mode for so long.

Twins. Our were a surprise and we couldn't be happier that that's how it worked out.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:you can't predict this. I have 4 siblings and get along the the least with the one that is 2 years and 3 months younger than me.

Can't predict and can't control. I'm genuinely curious how many of you got your desired age gap going into the process. It took us a long enough, but "normal" amount of time to conceive (no intervention) and we didn't have any real issues like chemical pregnancies or miscarriages. Had we aimed for a two year age gap, I think we could have ended up with anything from 1-3 depending on how we wanted to hedge our bets.

Exactly! There’s very little control over the process. That’s why I think everybody (including me) thinks that their kids age gap is perfect - because it’s what they have and what they made work!

Anonymous wrote:you can't predict this. I have 4 siblings and get along the the least with the one that is 2 years and 3 months younger than me.

Can't predict and can't control. I'm genuinely curious how many of you got your desired age gap going into the process. It took us a long enough, but "normal" amount of time to conceive (no intervention) and we didn't have any real issues like chemical pregnancies or miscarriages. Had we aimed for a two year age gap, I think we could have ended up with anything from 1-3 depending on how we wanted to hedge our bets.