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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here.  Again, I am not a troll.  I wish I could prove that somehow.  41 year-old software engineering manager working at a defense contractor in the midwest.  I lived in DC for 14 years, which is why I am even posting on here.

It's hard enough trying to flirt and run the normal process of showing interest at work at all, let alone for something as unique as this.  Normally in this situation, I would've asked her out, and away from the workplace, ran the normal process of dating someone.  I don't like flirting at work.  Her office is in a very busy area so I feel like I fool if I'm always at her doorway and you never know when someone else will walk by.  So this, on top of not having any idea how to deal with her, makes it hard.   I just want to get her away from the office for even a short walk to have a non-threatening conversation.  I don't want to do this over e-mail.

I am in another event this weekend and will ask her to stop by at it again since this one is very close to where she lives.  If she agrees, I hope to take her aside there and try to talk to her for a bit.

Here are the types of things I am thinking about saying.  What do you think, especially those women who feel they can relate to her to some degree:

"
I want you to know that you can trust me.  But I know I have to earn that trust by respecting your boundaries.  I want to get to know you better, but I know that can only happen with time.  It would involve many very small steps that you control and your independence and space would remain unchanged.

I don't pretend to know you.  But based on what you've told me, I think I know a little about where you are coming from.  There is no judgement from me because I understand where your caution is coming from.  I know I probably haven't met the real you yet, but someday I hope to.  I'd hope you would feel safe to be your true self around me one day.
"

Is this too much?  I kind of cringe reading this, and would not say these kinds of things to any other woman, but wondering if this is needed in this case.

Thanks again, everyone.
[/quote]

So there are no other women around? You are 41. You are writing stuff that makes yourself cringe and seems pretty weird. Why are you wasting your time with this woman? Do you like abuse? Seriously it will only get worst if you do date her.  Find someone normal and have a relationship of equals. [/quote]

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