Reply to Husband hasn't worked in years. It's wrecking my health

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[quote=Anonymous]OP it seems like you wrote this just over a year ago, why has nothing changed?

OP here. It's not that I'm a doormat; in my career, as a parent, and as a friend I have good boundaries and am assertive and confident.

I'm just grieving and freaked out, not understanding how I married a smart public interest lawyer who lived a normal life, how we *had* a normal life, and it's gone for reasons beyond my control. The fact that he really could fix it makes me want him to. The fact that he's unilaterally taken away what we had makes me lose sleep. I'm unused to problems that are totally beyond my control.

The gaslighting feels so crazy and unrealistic that I'm having a hard time even processing it. It's so far from my experience I'm expecting him to come home from therapy one day and say he figured out the truth- that his depression and having his life become so narrow warped his perspective.

I am going to figure out an exit path, but I'm not ready to start down it because there is no earthly reason this person I married shouldn't come back.

But if he doesn't seem to be on his way back by the end of the year, I'll have to pull the plug.

Extremely sad about all of this.

Tired of no sex, too. I get hit on a lot and don't act on it. Boy would I like to blow off steam, though.[/quote]

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