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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]So your husband just expects you to take care of two small children by yourself all morning? I don’t understand why everyone is on team DH.  At least one of our kids is generally up by 5.  If I let DH sleep in until 8:30 I would expect him to be telling me how amazing and wonderful I am.[/quote]

So the arrangement rests on the idea that both parents get a morning or multiple mornings to themselves, which is what makes dealing with both children yourself for the other morning(s) worth it. It isn't that you are taking one for the team for DH, its that you guys are alternating the chore.

I think there is also a subset of 5am wake up parents here for whom 8:30 is clearly super sleeping in. The equivalent of a 5am kid's parent sleeping to 8:30 is a 7am kid's parent sleeping until 10:30. And generally for the sake of starting the day and getting going 10:30 is the far and unusual end of our sleep in days. Usually we're up NLT 9:30 but the wake up parent is getting up at 7:30/8.

But as other pp's have said, it also works because its discussed beforehand and expectations are clear. For some people they just always both wake up and no sleep in days. For some people they alternate every day, some people just weekend days. Some people get to sleep to 8, some people to noon. None of it is bad in isolation it just needs to be communicated and agreed upon. For me, being told I was getting a sleep in day and being woken up at 8:30 would feel like BS and make me resentful and more likely to do something similar to my spouse. Whereas being left to myself would make me feel appreciated and more inclined to just take the kids to a park the next morning to get them out of the house so my spouse could relax. This is all about setting expectations and making sure everyone knows what's supposed to be happening so no one ends up resentful. And agreeing on something that meets everyone's needs as well as possible. [/quote]

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