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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]"No, my in laws can't help out. They are busy and don't babysit very often."  That should end all assumptions, no?[/quote]

This. The problem is that your friends have super-involved enthusiastic grandparents and unrealistic expectations that everyone's family is just like theirs. Not everyone's family is like theirs, and that is ok. If they are real friends, they will understand that some grandparents are more into the grandkids while others are more into enjoying their lives after years of working and raising their own kids.

My sister is in a similar spot as you, OP. Her friends all have these very enthusiastic parents who would beg to take the baby overnight or go to all the hockey games or offer to babysit every weekend or insist the kids come stay with them for several nights so the couple could go somewhere. My sister was disappointed and resentful that my parents were more into their own busy lives and weren't all over her kids other than sometimes attending events or keeping them overnight. I told her I understood why she was resentful, but our parents were never going to magically turn into the excited baby-lovers she wanted, and her friends' parents are not the norm. Grandparents come in many flavors. If they are alive and healthy and have a good relationship with your kids, be thankful.  
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