Reply to accepting that sister doesn't like me and we will never be a "family"

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[quote=Anonymous]My two cents:

- If you and both of your siblings all have levels of estrangement there is something going on that is probably not going to be resolved without careful, thoughtful direct conversation.  That's deep-seated, decades long stuff you're working against.
- You and your sister live very different lives, so they're not going to mesh easily even if you BOTH really wanted them to.
- Hanging out w/ neighbors is zero stress, low pressure, little commitment, maximum flexibility.  I have neighbors I hang out w/ a lot because our yards adjoin and it's convenient.  We'd never be friends otherwise, and we rarely see each other during the winter.  But at the end of a long day, or in a packed weekend, tossing the kids in the yard is a delightfully easy thing to do.  That doesn't mean I don't want to see the other folks with whom it would take more coordination, it just means it's easy and low stress.  That's a major win in my life (in which I'm a working mom juggling a gazillion things all the time.)
- Anyone with whom I and my family are getting together 4 times a year is something who is hugely prioritized in my world.  That's a lot.  (Unless you're my neighbor. :-)

Mostly I would advise you to take the pressure off.  Stop trying to force a relationship, force more time together, judging how she spends her time, reading more into her actions than she may intend, etc...  Just stop putting all the pressure on.

Focus on the regular times you do see her.  Maybe invite her and the kids to something fun you plan over the summer.  Maybe just shoot for one more get together this year and be happy about that if you can pull it off.  Don't take this all so deeply personally.  [/quote]

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