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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I tell my HS age daughter that when she is ready to have children, we will do everything to help.  Most successful families use a combination of[b] financial and in-person help from grandparents.  [/b]Women who only rely on themselves either suffer setbacks in their career or marriage or their childrearing, especially if children are not perfectly healthy since infancy.  We will do our best to support her.  We are not rich, middle class yet not upper middle.  However, my husband and I are both good with babies.  If she has fire in her belly to pursue a career, we will support her

[b]College tuition, on the other hand?  Scholarships and loans.[/b] No one supported me, and it set me.back all right.[/quote]

I don't get this? Are you saying if she pursues motherhood you're good with kids so will help out and help the kids, maybe even financially, but if she pursues a professional career it's on her to take out a ton of loans and start out in life with a whole bunch of debt?

And fire in her belly to pursue a career...unless you're totally loaded, I think every girl should have fire to pursue a career. Even if they quit and become a SAHM for the rest of their lives after 30 they should at least have SOME ambition I would think...[/quote]

If I had the money, I would pay for her college.  But my career suffered when my daughter had developmental delays, we had no one to help eother financially or personally, and we made a decision for me to stay at home for several years because that was our bedt choice.  I am now back to work, we have a home and a second child, but realistically we cannot cover more than in-state tuition for our children.

In the meantime, out oldest overcame her delays and is one of the top students in her high school (and I suspect in the county).  I fully support her path, will help with her future kids as narrated in the original post.  That said, if she makes it into a top-20 selective college, we are not in a position to cover more than $20-$25k of tuition.

Donut hole families come in many shapes and sizes.[/quote]

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