Reply to At a loss- spouse openly disregarded my wishes on something

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]And this is why DH and I each get a separate sum of money to do whatever we want with each paycheck.  I would go crazy if I had to run everything by DH and he feels the same way.[/quote]
+1 And OP, the more you discounted your spouse’s wants the more controlling you became. Of course an adult is going to rebel against that. You two need to figure out how to meet your financial goals while still having the ability to purchase personal items.[/quote]
DP. Just noting that OP says spouse has said no to things OP wanted to do/buy before this. But OP (as far as we know) didn't "rebel" by going out in an angry huff and immediately doing/buying what spouse said no to.... So should OP have gone what you indicate is the "adult" thing by storming off previously when the spouse said no? Both of them seem pretty invested in having veto power.

Not defending either side here but pointing out that while you're saying OP was being controlling, OP pretty clearly says the spouse has said no more than once. [b]So why is OP the controlling one to you, but spouse isn't, and it's somehow natural for spouse to jump out of bed to go make a disputed purchase?[/b]

OP, you and spouse need couples counseling pronto, focusing on communication skills and on airing these resentments that have built up. Your post mentions how much you resent spouse's earlier "no"s. Get help as a couple or you sound like your lack of communication and different priorities will split you apart. [/quote]
Because OP is here bitching about something their spouse did. They are welcome to redirect the post so that the point becomes that they are mad that they never buy what they want. But that isn’t what OP made the post about.

You do not try to control other adults. When you do, this is what you get.[/quote]

Oh, OK, so DH (we know now it's a DH) gets to jump out of bed to prove his point that he Won't Be Controlled and that's what OP deserves, in your opinion. He's not controlling when he says no to OP but it's control when OP says no to him. Got it. OP was just "redirecting the post" but of course the real problem is OP. As it always is, for some posters on DCUM. [/quote]

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