Reply to Do you rely on your DH for emotional support?

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[quote=Anonymous]The contempt on this thread is pretty amazing. I wonder about some of y'all's mental health, truly.

OP, it sounds like your husband feels anxious when you express vulnerability. This is not uncommon and I think it's a pretty natural reaction, particularly if historically you've been very even keel.

I rely on my husband for emotional support, but I had to learn what I could ask him for and how to ask for it. For one thing, like several PPs mentioned, he needs to be told specifically what I need a lot of the time. If I need him to just comfort me, I need to tell him that I need him to comfort me without commiserating, which feels sometimes like a suffering competition. If I need his advice, I have to tell him that I need his advice. He is not a mind reader and while he is pretty good at anticipating my needs, if I know I need something specific, I help him out by telling him what that is.

This is not to say that I get all my emotional support from him. It's important to get it from multiple places. But I cannot imagine a marriage where one of those places wasn't the person I married.[/quote]

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