Reply to Preschool, how important and how do people do this?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]There are three main reasons preschool is important -- from least to most (in my opinion):

1) academic
2) listening/following instructions
3) social & self-regulation

I think you could get 1) easily from a nanny, and in any case it is not appropriate to over emphasize academic learning at this age. 2) you could get if your child does any kind of structured activity regularly -- music, dance, gymnastics, etc. If your nanny is good, she'll know how to help your child practice this in appropriate ways in different settings.

What a good preschool will do is structure the environment so that the child becomes increasingly responsible for their own activities, initiating purposeful activity independently and developing the inner discipline and focus to see their projects through. They will also support social interactions so your child learns to cooperate with others, build on their ideas, and navigate various kinds of peer experiences. I think that's something that will be hard to replicate in a home environment or small group just because it depends on having a space set up that is centered on the child -- child sized sinks and tables, child work/play materials, appropriate jobs such as cleaning or serving snack -- and also a number of peers that your child interacts with regularly and develops relationships with.

Personally I feel like most kids could benefit from something like this by 3-4. With a one-on-one adult caregiver, the issue is that the child might be catered to too much or might not be given the proper responsibility and autonomy. [/quote]

Also, I will say that navigating peer experience is very important. Your child needs to be confronted with and learn to deal with a range of things, from so-and-so doesn't want to play with me to so-and-so calls me stupid/hits me/kicks me/ doesn't stop when I tell them to, etc. At preschool they will play complicated, ongoing pretend games with their peers. They will learn what it means for someone to call them "friend" one day and not the next. They will learn what it means to be a good friend. What happens to them if they brag or act in anti-social ways. Who they want to associate with. And so on. This is vital for age 3-6, I think in some ways the most important thing, because these ages are all about figuring out how you belong to a group, be it your family, your friends, or a larger community. I don't think your nanny will be able to provide that. Of course people did not need "preschool" in years past because it was called living in a village or being part of a large group of moms that hung out together and socialized their kids together. If you have your child at home with the 1.5 year old and nanny most days, that's an issue.

I would personally rethink sacrificing the bimonthly date night, for example, to provide this crucial developmental setting. [/quote]

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