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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Wow! Thank you 14:43! You get it and this is very practical straightforward advice!!
Of course easier said than done but I'm going to try the budgeting again.[/quote]

Budgeting and a healthy respect for family.  Both children need to understand that the three of you work as a team to make your family run.  Everyone gets what they need but “wants” have to be managed more carefully.  Turn over a new leaf now.  It is a good time to start a conversation that you will have college coming up for them and you need to start following a family budget more closely.  Needs are met and everyone gets allowance for extras.  For example, groceries for meals will always be provided and the occasional meal out for all of you but if they choose to spend discretionary money on snacks and treats, they won’t have it for other things.  Remind your spendthrift that he’ll be making lunches at home when he’s out of money.  It won’t be easy but you have to STOP GIVING IN!  ANd it’s perfectly okay to remind him that your family sacrifices for his activity and he needs to respect that sacrifice.  (That’s what’s going to eventually burn your other child.  Maybe not that the brother got more, but that the brother’s lack of appreciation fueled entitlement). You aren’t going to ruin your relationship just because he gets mad sometimes.  Teens get mad.  It’s okay to say no and deny him things.  That’s part of learning that they are not the center of the universe.  Teaching social and life skills and a sense of gratitude is an absolute must if you want him to be a healthy functioning adult.

Please nip this in the bud.  He’s on the fast track to ruling the roost in your house and you’ll be powerless to stop it and even more powerless to change him.[/quote]

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