Reply to Marriage dynamics - one vs two income households

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[quote=Anonymous]I had a baby around the same time as many of my friends and definitely have noticed a big difference in the marriages of SAHMs and working moms.  I work for many reasons.

1.  I really enjoy my job and I earn a relatively high salary (200k+) with flexible hours.  
2. I enjoy getting out of the house and the interaction I have with other adults during the work week.  
3.  One of the main factors for me is that my husband contributes at home and we are equals.  I would resent doing all of the housework, planning, organizing etc but maybe you don’t mind this. 
4.  I want my own retirement account. 
5.  I don’t want my entire life to only be about my husband and child.  I have my own identity. My SAHM friends have become more boring and overly focused on their child as time goes by.

I’ve also noticed that many SAHMs think they are staying home for the benefit of their child but really it’s for them.  And that’s fine.  But I’m not sure it makes much difference to the children and as we know, the children won’t remember their early years.  My nanny is excellent with my child.  Some of the SAHMs I know are actually making huge parenting mistakes that maybe could be avoided if they weren’t the sole childcare provider for their child.

All of this being said, you need a new job.  Working for $35k at your age is silly.  Your benefits are terrible.  I realize some people can’t find better jobs, but I assume you can. You should quit once the baby comes and then around 5 months postpartum try and find a new job.  One with some flexibility so you spend enough time with your child.  Just don’t stay out of the workforce too long and try to find a job where you can return if you have a second kid (at least 4 months of unpaid leave)

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