Reply to Marriage dynamics - one vs two income households

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[quote=Anonymous]OP.  I think you do what works for you and your family.  Period. No one can tell you one or the other is better.   In our family, both DH and I have intentionally chosen career paths that are more flexible so between us we are there for our kids. I went from biglaw to fed attorney with 3 days of telework.  I can’t work over 40 hours a week. His job allows nearly 100% telework and a lot of flexibility. He can take kids to the doctor midday, and work later at night. I have set hours and can’t, but can make dinner and supervise homework if he needs to make up lost work time.  This works for us. It might not work for other people.

A word of caution.  My kids are now reaching HS age. I know quite a few SAHMs who were only planning to SAH for a set period— until kids were in pre-school, until kids were in ES, etc. But almost all of them are still at home, with kids in middle school and high school, and looking at soon to be empty nests.  And the fact is, in many fields, 50 year old women who haven’t really had a job in 15 years are not attractive candidates.

An idea: can you talk to your NGO about going PT for a few years, with one day of telework?  If you work, say 2 days, 16 hours, you can hire a PT nanny or look for a nanny share, only go into the office one day a week, cut commute and dressing for work time, and have time at home with your baby and to keep the house running, even nurse the days you telework.  This is not realistic in many jobs.  But it might be at an NGO.

You might not make money after paying the nanny, but you keep your foot in the door and your resume active. Then when DC is 3, they can do a full time pre-school, which costs a lot less than newborn care, and return to work FT. Or stay PT until your kids are in MS or HS or college or forever.

Neutral if you ever want to go back, you need to realize it is harder than you might think. [/quote]

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