Reply to Is all PTA volunteering like a pyramid scheme?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]One of the moms I know from my kids' school always signs up for some big PTA gig - auction chair or that sort of thing. Then she tries to get everyone she knows to do some part of the work. I totally understand that all the big events etc require a village to pull off. But I feel like I'm constantly getting gang-pressed into stuff that I just don't want to do. I work FT and so I have to be strategic about how and when to volunteer at my kids' schools, and finding sponsors for the back-to-school carnival would not be on my list. So I would never sign up to do it! But the mom in question is very nice and our kids are friends, so [b]I have trouble saying sorry, I'm too busy[/b] (esp bc of the SAHM-WOHM dynamics.) Same way I might feel social pressure to buy some MLM crap that I'd never pick up in an actual store.

And it occurred to me that this is not accidental - the only way this stuff gets done is if some parent takes on a big job and then arm-twists/guilt-trips her friends into helping. Which makes me feel extra badly about the whole situation. Can anyone else relate to this? And does anyone have a really persuasive way to extricate yourself from this kind of thing? I know, I could just say no, but I feel like I'm being insulting or unsupportive.[/quote]

OP, please consider how offensive it is to compare the pTA to a pyramid scheme, when no one is making any profit off hard work on big events like the carnival, which everyone hates but the kids love.

Then re-read the bolded part.  The problem is not your fried nor is it the PTA, not even the stupid carnival.  The problem is you apparently can't say no.  Grow a spine, set some boundaries, say yes when you can and no when you can't and move on with your life.  You can't say no, so everyone else is the problem?  Um, no. Life is too short to feel guilty every minute of the day for saying reasonably, no.  [/quote]

This.  Op-you're slandering people volunteering their time and you don't have adult skills to say no.  Look inwards. [/quote]

NP.

It's more complicated than this.

My experience is some of the people who do the asking have expectations for how things should be done that don't match mine.  I don't need the pinterest level carnival or room party.  My kids don't need it.   And I don't find it enjoyable and I don't want to do it.  That's where it gets awkward.  It's not just saying no and moving on.  It's I've said yes agreeably and now you're bulldozing me with your Martha Stewart level aspirations.

See:  Too much time on people's hands.[/quote]

Your kids don't need a classroom Halloween party or end of the year party?  Ok.  Then don't organize it. Pick up your kids early if they find classroom parties offensive.  That's fine.  My kids love it (and the kids in the classroom seem to enjoy it too.)  And I've never seen a "pinterest party" in my years as an elementary school parents.  Most of the parents at my kids' school work, and we get the events done, but there's nothing pinterest-y about them.[/quote]

My kids enjoy the party.  I'm not saying don't do the parties.   They don't need to have 4 games up set up that all involve "crafting" to create, an intricate craft, and a snack that is both cute and clever.

Just because you have never experienced something in your years as an elementary school parent doesn't mean it has never happened.

[/quote]

Why get so bothered? Just don't volunteer to help with the parties. Help with something else that you are less offended by. Some parents really enjoy doing the pinterest stuff. Unless they are demanding a ridiculous amount of money, is it really hurting anyone?[/quote]

Some of you are defensive.

I was paired with someone as a room parent who was pinterest queen.  We planned the parties.  That's part of the job.  I pushed back on her elaborate ideas and she did the parties her way anyway.  I then participated in the pinterest parties so we could peacefully co-exist and to avoid a situation where it seemed I wasn't doing my share.   Yes, some of you will counsel me that I should have just said no and why am I bothered if she wants to have a pinterest party.  Let her do it and you do less work.  That's great that all of you are out in the world asserting your boundaries left and right.  Sometimes I eat shit to get along and keep the peace and maintain good relationships because my kids are involved.  Sue me.

So yes, I was bothered.  No I couldn't just not help with the parties.

And no, the teacher didn't dictate all the centers and activities.

[/quote]

I still don't get it. This doesn't sound like something an adult would be upset about. Maybe save yourself some stress and don't sign up to be room parent?[/quote]

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