Reply to Boyfriend let ex-wife stay at his house

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[quote=Anonymous]I think there are a couple issues.

1) what's the long term plan to disentangle? have they discussed it? Is it just financial or are there other (emotional) reasons they co-own house?

2) I can completely understand why it would be easy and nice for mom to spend a few days with her daughter in daughter's home--less disruptive, more special time. I would encourage that as much as possible. BUT, why wouldn't dad then stay with his gf those days? why play house again if they are truly divorced? does it confuse daughter? what message does it send to current gf?

3) regardless of decision, bf of two years should have at least discussed it first with gf--not ask permission, but say, hey, I want to run something by you. Ex is coming and she is planning to stay at the house for xyz reasons....they could have discussed whether he sleeps there or not, etc.

OP, I would not say anything during the visit but after have a talk--basically you need to find out why he didn't tell you earlier--did he think it didn't matter, did he anticipate a negative reaction (and this tells you something about how he handles potential conflict), etc. You also need to assess where you both are in terms of the future. [/quote]

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