Reply to Do families re write history re how much they helped you out/spent on you??

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]What gets me more than the rewriting of the history, is that my mom loves to tell stories consistent with her version.... [b]versions in which I always come off kinda dumb.[/b]

I know that my son and I don't agree about how certain events transpired, and maybe he thinks I rewrote.  So, I don't mention those stories in public. Ever.

No point in creating tension.  Not sure why my mom does what she does, unless it is to get under my skin.  I get under my kid's skin plenty, but I try my best not to.[/quote]

Sometimes siblings do this, especially if they are an older sibling threatened by a younger siblings' success.  [/quote]

This is the PP. Yeah and sometimes there may be more than one truth.  I get that.  The only part that really gets me is the continued need to tell the stories when I'm obviously uncomfortable.  I know how it makes me feel. A time or two I've caught myself when my son has felt like the "victim of alternative truths."  Each time, I just shut up and make a mental note to drop that story from those I tell.  [b]I don't do everything right as a parent, but I do try not to make my kid uncomfortable for reasons related to my own ego.[/b][/quote]

Good on you, PP!  Other PP here.  You are aware of and correcting the issues, that is the important part.  It is really hurtful behavior, on your family's part.  They are wrong to do that. It is wrong for anyone in a family to talk bad about other family members in order to feel better about themselves. [/quote]

I couldn’t agree more. I love this thread because I feel less alone.

My parents were content to have us watch tv all summer and do nothing. Now that my kids are in specialty camps, they’ve invented camps and other enrichment opportunities that never happened. I just gloss over this because nothing will top my wedding day when my dad thanked himself for paying for my wedding (he never offered and aside from paying for his hotel room, didn’t spend a dime), and thanked himself for paying for my grad school where my husband and I met and college (I paid for both ENTIRELY on my own- thankfully I had a good school counselor who helped me take out loans, part time jobs, and scholarships). We are still paying this off today. I hated my state college that I had to attend because I could not afford to put myself through the Ivy League school of my dreams.

I asked him when we’d be getting the check then since we had done it all on our own.

I absolutely agree that I shouldn’t have said anything, but I was absolutely done with my dads bad behavior (constant comments about the modesty of our wedding - hello we were 25 and paid for everything ourselves and had an open bar!- and my simple dress and modest engagement ring). My parents have not saved a dime towards retirement. They both have always driven top of the line Mercedes Benzs, my mom upgraded her engagement ring to a 5 carat monstrosity, they wear only expensive designer clothes to their blue collar jobs, and take expensive trips to Europe. I also think they spend a lot of money on recreational drugs.  Growing up my parents spared no expense on their clothing or their master bedroom or their cars, but dumped my sisters and i in one bedroom (with four girls!!) and made us pay for our own clothing after we turned 12 and could babysit. They made us pay for our own dental work as well which is why we all had braces as adults.

I don’t make a big stink about my parents lies anymore except for on my wedding day. It still does hurt. Glad I’m not alone. [/quote]

Glad I made you feel better and less alone (I'm "kinda dumb") but I am sorry to say, your parents completely outclass mine on this stuff (and not in a good way).

I guess it won't matter to your parents that much if you aren't close to them.  My mom is completely mystified how out "closeness" faded away (I got therapy and stopped being a doormat, but I never told her I went to therapy because I don't want it discussed at family events in a disparaging way).[/quote]

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