Reply to Do families re write history re how much they helped you out/spent on you??

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "Do families re write history re how much they helped you out/spent on you??"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
My parents were asocial and thus had no idea what normal parenting looked like. I lived a hermit's life, basically, and only socialized at school. God forbid I had a semblance of a life outside of school. I was not allowed to see my friends, go anywhere, or have any kind of activity, apart from piano, a very solitary sport. Borderline abusive.

I tried to talk to them about it once. It did not go over well. [/quote]

How are you parenting nowadays?

My spouse had a similar situation but because his father had severe ADHD almost to the point of being a social liability or dangerous in public or private or parenting situations. DH is only now addressing his family of origin issues and doesn't know what to make of his parents or their relationship. [/quote]

I would love to know this, also.  DH tells me that they never had friends to their house, except for maybe birthday parties, when they were in elementary, and that was only a couple children, mostly from the neighborhood.  So sad to me, I feel like he missed out a lot.  Seeing his family, you can kind of tell that something is up with the parents.  My DH has a hard time addressing it, but he absolutely knows that his family is not normal.  My family was the opposite, friends and family were in and out daily, a very social, outgoing house.  How did you get your husband to address it? [/quote]

PP here. Well we pretty much hit rock bottom after kid 2 when I realized I was doing everything and he had ADHD as well - really could not handle the multi-tasking of us both having jobs, 2 kids, a house, yard, 2 sets of elderly parents, etc. 
So we had a hard look at why we were arguing and why things were slipping through the cracks. It was not pretty, but after reading about ADD Inattentive and spouses of said person things got clearer to both of us. 
A few months after that his parents stayed with us to visit for a month. I had a week biz trip and he started seeing his father with new eyes. Though DH would sugarcoat it by saying, "I'm sure my Dad wasnt' that bad when he was younger". But even at their house or ours, the FIL would be doing stuff like backing the van into the grandkids, doors slamming on 2 yo, forgetting to drain the bathtub, leaving crumbs out everytime he had a snack. I don't know how his Mom or why, made it through. Other relatives don't dig in just see it as, "wow, she must be really hard up to stay in that relationship." They are not religious at all either, she must just love the Mommy/Nurse role to her needy husband. 
Two weeks after they left my husband called some therapists and also pyschiatrist to get tested for ADHD. 
[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics