Reply to Is it ever ok to ask a host if you can bring uninvited people with you?

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Reply to "Is it ever ok to ask a host if you can bring uninvited people with you?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I know the etiquette rules say it's wrong, but this is one that has honestly never bothered me.  If I'm planning a big casual cookout, then I'm usually planning for a few dozen people coming and going over the course of an afternoon.  An extra person - or two, or five - is not going to affect my planning whatsoever.  At a more intimate dinner party, I might say "sorry, we only have space for 8 and we're already maxed out", but I certainly don't mind you asking.  If I can make it work, I would like the opportunity to do so.

For example, if I had a guest like PP and discovered mid-party that she'd left her mom at home, or had declined my invitation because she had a summer-long guest, that would make me sad!  I wish you would ask!  I like meeting new people and love welcoming them into my home.  [/quote]

Big casual cookout, sure that makes sense.  And someone's mom (singular) is visiting (i.e. would be otherwise home alone?) Again, understandable?

But if you are having a smaller party, and someone asks to invite a whole (local) family?  So basically they want to entertain a family, but at your party?  I can't quite understand that.  If they like you, and think you will like this family, why don't they just invite you both to THEIR house, where they can entertain both of you?   Why invite the other family to YOUR house?[/quote]

Well, OP described it as a cookout, which I interpreted to mean more of a big casual backyard thing than a small formal dining room dinner party.

If I invited two other couples over for dinner, and one called to ask if she could bring another family along, I might think it's ok or might think it's weird, depending on the circumstances. Either way I wouldn't feel obligated to say yes, nor would I feel offended or upset that they asked.  It's just a question.  In general, though, I like welcoming people into my home and usually jump at the chance to make some new friends.[/quote]

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