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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I am married to a (now retired) cop.  He always wanted to be a cop, his life was being a cop, he absolutely loved it.  He was always a patrol officer, always wanted to be on the street, never wanted to do anything else.

In the early years of dating, I worried about safety.

Now, looking back, I'll give you my perspective.

A lot has to do with where you live. My husband was a cop first in New Hampshire, and let me tell you, that was a whole lot of boring. A big exciting night was catching someone who tried to break into the Long John Silver.  Most of the time was driving around, making traffic stops.  The most dangerous calls were domestics (they're the most dangerous of all calls anywhere).  But it was usually super drunk or drugged out people and only occasionally did he feel like he was in a life threatening situation.

We moved to a larger city, and his role was much more dangerous. His patrol beat was the drug corridor, and every night was more dangerous than when we were in NH. You get really used to it, because its just life.  Most of what I remember from back then was how GROSS it was when he came home.  All night long he's in these disgusting houses, crawling with roaches, and fighting with really gross people, and I literally made him strip in our garage and take a shower in the basement before he could come upstairs. He would be fighting with super drugged out people, the meth heads were the worst because they just don't feel pain so it's like fighting a superhero.  They don't feel tasers, nothing.  So he would constantly come home all bruised and battered. I felt badly for him, but he didn't seem to be phased by it.

The thing is, cops seem to be born. They just always wanted to be cops, and you aren't going to change it.  The worst thing about being married to a cop isnt so much the danger, to me at least. The worst thing is the really awful hours, combined with the really low pay--which require them to always pick up as many overtime hours as possible to support a family. And that means, if you have kids, quite a lot of the time is being like a single mother.  Now, if they eventually decide to get off the street patrol scene and do detective, that is a lot easier (hours wise, although the pay can still suck depending on location).

Bottom line, you don't have a lot of say here, and so if it's a deal breaker for you just thinking about it, I'd walk.  Its a lot harder to deal with over a long period of time, and if you are already hesitant, it won't work long term.  [/quote]

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