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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here.   This thread has gone off the relationship topic, but has great information for me.  Thanks.

It seems like requesting/demanding (if the request is not granted) accommodations could help.

I see two areas:

1) While she is in intensive therapy, ensure there is at least one non-therapy day to complete the assignment.  Practically, that would mean if the teacher assigns something on monday, she would have until at least Sat. to get it in.

2) Reduce the audio-distractions from other classmates during exams.  The audio distractions render her unable to concentrate, and become the focus of her energy.  Practically, this would probably mean either allowing her to take the test in an isolated setting or use noise attenuating headgear.

Does this sound reasonable?[/quote]

Honestly you don’t sound reasonable. You just dismiss out of hand that academic pressure may be overwhelming because she told you it wasn’t. You are clearly deeply, intensely committed to her academic success and achievement. I doubt your dd is able to just tell you what’s bothering her here.

What if you told her that the most important thing was her health and well-being, that she would do the best she could this year and that taking AB Calc next year was not crucial to her happiness or future success? Because it’s not. [/quote]

She as told me, she told her therapists, she told my wife.  I am confident that it is not school pressure.   She likes learning and school.  The other problem is as a rising junior, there are no viable math options slower than AB calculus.   The problem she is having in math is because she loses focus during the tests -- not because she can not keep up with the workload.  She specifically said the noise another kid was making so annoyed her she could not concentrate.  [/quote]. 
OP, i beg you, repost this in the Special Needs forum.  There are tons of parents there who can offer you their experience and you will mot be side tracked by people who want to make this problem into something about you (as you were doing to your wife .. ironic?)[/quote]

If OP can write the sentence "as a rising junior, there are no viable math options slower than AB calculus" with a straight face he needs to at least have qualified outsiders consider whether he is part of the problem.

I'm not saying she's not smart or that she hates learning, OP, I'm saying she has other issues that are interfering with her academics. FFS let them interfere! Get her out of there! Put your kid over her math track for a change. "She specifically said the noise another kid was making so annoyed her" jesus h christ. Did she [i]specifically[/i] say it when being questioned by you, her unbelievably judgmental dad whose self worth is tied up in her academic success and intelligence who will turn on his wife, her teachers, etc if they interfere with his plans? Okay then I guess what your daughter needs is for you to resolve to "request/demand" things so she's not threatened by a NON VIABLE MATH OPTION omfg.

[/quote]

Umm.  Mom to depressed AP student here.  My student took pre-calc in 10th grade.  There is nothing slower than AB Calc as the next step.  You must take 4 years of math to graduate, so you can't just skip a year of math if you are at advanced level.  FWIW, my kid thought AB Calc was easier than pre-calc, but YMMV.  A student could go back and take a remedial math class, I suppose but for many bright depressed kids, boring classes actually contribute to depression instead of relieving depression.

FWIW, I really don't think it's appropriate to judge a class as a non-viable math option without at least exploring supports/accommodations.  If a student is offered accompdation and prefers to drop a class, that's fine.  If a student tries accommodations and it still doesn't help and wants to drop, that's fine too.  But what's not OK, is to tell people with illness, I won't accommodate your illness and/or I don't believe you could be capable of this.

There is a long history of stigma with mental illness.  For many years, society insisted that mental illness was created by bad families, bad upbringings, cold, high pressure mothers, etc.  Guess what?  None of that is correct.  Society also thought people who were depressed were just weak and unable to withstand any pressure.  None of that is correct either.  And yet many people, like you, continue to perpetuate these myths/stigmas by blaming mental illness on family members and telling those with depression what they are or are not capable of.  Please stop.  [/quote]

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