Reply to 5th grade girls - is this typical?

Forum Index » Tweens and Teens

Reply to "5th grade girls - is this typical?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is an interesting thread.  Growing up I was always somewhat nerdy and shy.  [b]I was never cool but I picked friends like me and they were solid an loyal.  I think when the social dynamics change, you should encourage your daughters to seek out others like themselves instead of reaching to still try and be accepted by and ultimately hurt by former friends who want to be popular.  That is the best advice I can give.  I never felt lonely or left out because I would find just one or two people like myself and make friends with them.[/b][/quote]

To many parents, living vicariously, try to force friendships on behalf of their children (who have long since been old enough to make their own social arrangements).  Back off, control freak parents -- you are helping no one, least of all, your own children. [/quote]

It's easier said than done. 
Despite the encouragement from a parent, a girl may continue to seek and pursue a friendship with former friends who are popular even if they no longer have anything in common with those friends.  It can be a hard lesson for some girls and it's just experience and nothing else that they will ultimately learn from.[/quote]

PP here.  Agree completely.  This is true of both boys and girls - teens change friends constantly.  The best gift you can give your teen is the ability to move on to friends that actually want them around (and not persist or single out people).  That is, once a teen outgrows a friend, let them move on, don't try to force a friendship where there is no longer a friendship.  Who knows, friends sometimes cross paths/come around again (sometimes after weeks or months or years - which is fine) - but if the you, the parent, interferes with teen friendships - you stunt the teens social growth and ability to maneuver socially.  I have seen situations where parents actually step in (with teens!!), thinking they are helping their child,  when in fact, they are hurting their child.  Your child needs to be able to manage with what they have, that is the greatest gift you can give them.  I live in an area where parents are often jealous of other parents (not me, but I have seen it happen with parents who are rich or successful or smart or whatever - again, I fit none of those), and take it out in extremely unreasonable ways - and it only alienates their child.  I have also heard of parents with issues that they pass on to their teens, without realizing.  Point being, more parents need professional guidance  before they jump the gun and unleash their crazy on their children.  I suppose in the weird cases I have seen, it is the parents' control issues, that is their downfall (and ultimately, their children).   [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics