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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, have you and your husband discussed what you do vs what he does?  Like what your "chores" are and what "his" are?  In our household, for instance, I do laundry and DH does trash and dishes.   I refuse to believe that he just doesn't do anything, other than sit on the sofa and take up space. [/quote]

Op here.  We've discussed this dozens of times, including in therapy.

My responsibilities: finances, all cooking, babyproofing house, dishes, laundry, taxes, pet care for our dog, managing daycare, insurance, doctor's appointments, dentist, travel planning, cars and maintenance, coordinating/arranging lawncare.

His: electronics (wifi, home security system), relationship with his family. Sometimes he grills in the summer.

We've talked about how to move things off my plate onto his. Whenever this happens he does such an astonishingly bad job at the task that he gets banned from it (e.g-he's broken our dishwasher and garbage disposal, when he cooks it takes hours and he trashes the kitchen in the process, then I have to pretend to be grateful that he made dinner and spend an hour cleaning up). He will use pure bleach on our hardwood floors. He's ruined hundreds of dollars of clothes because he can't do laundry. He also broke our washing machine by overloading it. He tried to clean the inside of our gas fireplace once. He did a shit job putting it back together and the hot glass cover fell off and landed on me. When I had to travel for work for 3 days, I returned and the dogs water dish was bone dry.

I made a very big mistake marrying this man.[/quote]

Do you not realize the crux of your problem is that you are expecting him to perform these tasks up to your standards and, if he doesn't, you then, OF YOUR OWN ACCORD, take it upon yourself to relieve him of the responsibility? You are creating your own problems. Change your expectations. [/quote]

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