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[quote=Anonymous]OP I hope you see this because I am in the exact.same.situation!  Except it's my mom and her husband and his children/grandchildren.

I have had to be very clear in setting limits and boundaries.  The biggest challenge is that [b]you have to be prepared for them to not like what you are saying and to be unhappy with you for saying it.[/b]  That's the toughest part if you're a typical woman :) who never wants to hurt feelings!  But it's really easy once you get over that hurdle!  My mother is not one to back off so we had many, many arguments about it but I was very clear, calm and consistent.

I had to say and enforce it many times until they finally "got it" and stopped asking (after years!). And those who haven't been through it would probably think I was being "mean" but I had to be extremely clear.  I would [b]say "I don't have any need to host his children and grandchildren in my home, if I go to your home and they are there it's perfectly fine but I don't want to host them in mine."  
[/b]
I had no choice with the other husbands but now I'm done with the facade and I have my own family, my needs now come first.

Good luck OP, you can do it![/quote]

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