Reply to How to get DH to stop overcommitting/doing too much for friends

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Reply to "How to get DH to stop overcommitting/doing too much for friends - vacation with friends with kids"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Are you really young?  The things you list are such non-issues.  Your DH seems to like group dynamics and you don't.  Find a way to compromise, but "telling" an adult what to do is overly controlling and inappropriate.[/quote]

No, but he offered that "we" set up the tent for them. Meaning we drag it to the beach, set up, take down, etc. [/quote]

On group trips to the beach, it's common knowledge that the men set up the beach gear while the women get the kids ready. The men also are responsible for running out to pick up donuts or whatever provisions are needed. Newsflash: setting up the gear and picking up food is a million times easier than getting the kids ready for the beach (putting sunblock on a toddler is a truly character building experience).

As a childless woman, you had the option to sleep in and let the men do the set up and pick up breakfast. No clue what you're kvetching about.[/quote]

Huh? No, the moms want the husbands to help with their kids. I always help my husband set up the tent. [/quote]

Huh?

Maybe there are different rules for tent people? I'm referring to the real beach goers who use umbrellas and actually enjoy the sun rather than erecting a shelter and fighting for space under cover.

I don't need help getting my kids ready for the beach, and DH is equipped to schlep the gear and set things up by himself.

I'm wondering if the younger generation of women is more needy and controlling? I know the younger generation is definitely not equipped to use their words...probably because they were raised by helicopter moms who supervised their play dates and handled every interaction for them. [/quote]

Maybe that's true. This couple definitely seems like they need a lot of help, because they have an au pair traveling with them and still seem to be struggling.

As far as neediness, out of two of us, my husband is definitely more needy, while I'm more controlling/type A

[/quote]

Type A people aren't afraid to use their words. Type A people take control and ensure they come out on top. You just sound cranky and whiny. [/quote]

Yes, I'm cranky and whiny from sitting in the sun and having to fight over my chair. [/quote]

We know. But don't claim to be type A...because you aren't. You're really just upset with yourself for not handling the situation. You sound shy and insecure. Therapy might help. You seem to project your unhappiness on others while the source of your misery is within. Instead of reading DCUM, you might try a self help book instead. Best of luck to you! [/quote]

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