Reply to He loves me, has great benefits, good income, sex is terrible

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Reply to "He loves me, has great benefits, good income, sex is terrible"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Are you currently living together?

Live together first.  He's 45 and has never been married.  Has he at least lived with someone over a long period of time?

Unless you live with this man, you really don't know how secure, stable, compatible he is.  He's on his best behavior with you, but before you make tradeoffs based on the assumption you have that he is secure/stable or good for you and your kids, you need to make sure that he's also compatible with you in a living situation b/c likely he's very used to living alone.

I've known men who look good on paper -- financially secure, nice, polite, etc. -- but are entirely different once they move in with you.  That's when you really see who the person is.  And given he's never been married (which is usually a red flag for a 45-year-old man or woman), living together is the only way for you to be sure there isn't something you're missing.

You may find that he's not as good for you as what you are imagining.  His benefits and money won't mean much if he's miserable to live with.

The other thing is that if you are truly going to marry this man mainly because he's financially secure, you should make sure he is actually financially secure and not just telling you he is.

I'm not saying it's a good idea to marry him just for the financial security, but if you are going to do that, I wouldn't do it solely based on his word.[/quote]

PP above, +1 to all of this![/quote]

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