Reply to How to Convince my Husband to go for a third

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[quote=Anonymous]Just remember that having another child isn't just having another baby.....it's having another person. We originally wanted 3 because we're both the youngest of 3 and then we had 1 and we were like "Uh.....let's have 2 and see how we feel." I'm now pregnant with the 2nd and I'm not 100% sure we won't have a 3rd, but I'm about 98%. My Mother told me to just not do anything "permanent" (tubes tied or my husband having a Vasectomy) for a few years in case I change my mind. I'm just not sure we can handle it. I see our Parents dealing with having 3 children NOW. I mean, there are more people, more spouses, more Grandchildren (although I don't think that's an issue for them.....they'd have 100 of those). It's always more and more. In some sense, having Adult children has some difficult things that people don't think about when their kids are young. There are still College bills from my school that they're paying off and I'm 31 and only got a Bachelor's Degree.

My MIL tells me that she thinks Parents are even more scruitinized now than they were when she had children and that having kids is much more difficult than it was. I don't know if that's true, but I'm inclined to believe her.

My Mother says she begged for me and she called me her "bonus" from my Father growing up. She tells everyone that the 3rd child is the easiest. Most people with 3 will tell you that. I think it's because they're so busy with the other 2 and the older ones help out and entertain the baby. My husband and I both felt that we were a little left aside by accident. Like, our activities were old by the time our Parents had been too 100 band concerts. We are both close with our Parents and love them and think they were good Parents, but we just don't know that we could handle it! I told my Dad that I'm going to write a book called "Daddy Didn't Want Me." The funny thing is that I act a lot like my Dad and I'm very close with him, but he still says that, although he's happy I'm here now and loves me, he still didn't want another one back in 1978!

The point is, you can't have another one if your husband isn't on board. I'm glad you're not planning to do it "accidentally" though since that would make him totally justified in divorcing you! I can't believe people suggest that. I actually have a friend who did it for her 1st child. Needless to say, her husband caught on and their marraige is not good.[/quote]

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