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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
If I'm working on a project with my own kids, we have a history.  My kids know that if I say something, that I'll follow through with it, and that there are consequences for misbehavior.  They've tested me time and time again, and I've come down with the same consequences.

If I'm working on a project with a stranger's kid, she doesn't know any of that.  She still needs to 'test' me out to find out where my limits really lie.

There is no way that type of experiment would provide any legitimate insight into parenting styles.  [/quote]

It would provide insight into the child's style though.

My daughter (the absolute opposite of ODD - even tempered, adaptable, agreeable, wants to please authority figures) would work with pretty much any adult on a project together.  She wouldn't need to test you to see where your limits are... she would respect an adult because that is her nature.  Even an adult with a "bad" parenting style would look good when working with her, because conflicts wouldn't even come up so you'd never get a chance to see their lack of consistency, follow through etc.

Meanwhile if you took my ODD child and had him work with even a super great parent, one who had never experienced working with an inflexible, contrary ODD child before -- you'd see a completely unprepared parent flummoxed by a child who simply refused to get along.

I know if all I ever experienced was my daughter, I'd think I was a fantastic parent!  Because I would never have really been tested.[/quote]

My thoughts exactly![/quote]

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