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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Are you people seriously fighting over whether divorced parents with an ex who makes some financial and time commitment to a child deserve to be called single parents?  That is just sad.  [/quote]

This and I'm not a divorced, widowed and I didn't have a child out of wedlock. Generally, those people have the same types of issues. My husband is gone for work about 21 days a month...as in across the country, for years and years like this. I have these same issues.  [/quote]

Does "I have these same issues" mean you have the same issues as the divorced be widowed parents because your husband travels for 21 days? FFS.[/quote]

Yes, I do. Let's see: older kid is in a play at school at 2 and younger kid has the flu and needs to be home. Issue is no one can watch older kid. Two kids have games and I can't get them to both. I have a migraine and kids have homework. I have zero...zero...help with dishes, laundry, banking, discipline, childcare, transporting, sick visits, dental visits, etc 3/4 of each month. Maybe divorced parents don't have those issues...I do. I have no one else to rely on...no one...the majority of the time. Ie younger kid broke arm at recess. Do you know what that was like for me to figure out who could get older kid? It meant older kid missed soccer tournament and instead went home with another family (my emergency contact friend) who had to bring the kid to her kid's karate class. Would that happen at your home or at your home do you have a second parent that can pitch in much of the time when you're in a bind?

"Out of wedlock" was just a way to describe it. [/quote]

Sorry, I'm an actual single parent, and those things aren't even on my radar as the hard parts of being a single parent.  Those things are just parenting.

Having to make a difficult medical decision between something that sucks, and something that might suck a little more or a little less and will have lifetime implications, 100% or own your own, or in partnership with someone you hate and don't trust?

Those things are being a single parent.  If you're parenting with someone who loves you, and loves your kids, and shares your values, and contributes substantially to household expenses, and is available by phone in an emergency, then you have zero idea what it's like to be a single parent.[/quote]

+1 It sounds like some of those issues were hard for YOU because you aren't actually a single parent and don't have to deal with situations like that as often, whereas PP notes that these situations wouldn't even faze her as an actual single parent.[/quote]

Sorry...this is ridiculous. You say, "Sorry, I'm an actual single parent, and those things aren't even on my radar as the hard parts of being a single parent. Those things are just parenting.

Knowing that your income is the only thing that's keeping your medically needy kid in health insurance, or a roof over their head, so you go to work even though it means making daycare choices that make you really uncomfortable."  A happily married couple can have this heartbreaking decision.   Making tough decisions are sometimes made between spouses just getting over cheating or one in the throws of addiction or when they hate each other. You're making this very black and white. [/quote]

And if you're making a difficulty decision between spouses, it's different than making it alone.  I'm not saying it's always harder or always easier.  I agree 100% that, as a single parent I will never have to deal with a cheating spouse.  Because that's a married person issue.

But the definition of "single parent" isn't that it's hard.  It's that your single, and have issues specific to being single.

This is a black and white issue.  People who are single and parents are single parents.  People who are married or partnered or not parents are not single parents.

But having more kids that should ideally go places than there are currently adults available to take them?  That's an issue faced by all sorts of parents.  [/quote]

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