Reply to OMG tween just had epic tantrum

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Get out the belt.  Problem solved. [/quote]

You are a disgusting person. I hope you did not reproduce.[/quote]

No, YOU are a disgusting person.

Thanks to people like you, I have to deal with kids like this. It didn't used to be like this. [/quote]

+1.  I can't believe so many posters are excusing this kid's behavior.  Aw, poor little guy he was probably hungry, he must have been anxious, he needs to learn to talk about his feelings, etc. He is 11 years old - way too old to be hitting, kicking, AND biting! What do you think is going to happen if he gets upset and police are around. Let's say he was at the park and hit his friend and a policeman is walking by. The police tell him to walk with him to separate the kids and leads him by slightly touching him. Is he going to kick, bit, or hit the policeman? My 10 year Latino son looks like he is 12 or 13. No way in hell would I allow him to act like that anywhere. If he bit, kicked or hit me I would consider having his dad spank him a belt. He would be grounded for a month. Better for us to discipline him than get shot by a cop or arrested. [/quote]

No one is saying don't have consequences of bad behavior. However, do you get cranky or snap at people when you are hungry? Exhausted? Overwhelmed? Everyone does, hopefully to less severity than PP's young son. Part of parenting is teaching your kid to identify and anticipate situations like this where we all struggle and how to deal with them in more appropriate ways, and even to avoid them whenever possible.

What does hitting your kid with a belt teach in terms of being an adult? Noting but more bad parenting.[/quote]

NP. But by 11 a kid should already know how to control themselves or express themselves without hitting or biting, good grief. Do people really consider that normal or age appropriate? If he were snotty or back-talked, that I would get. But an 11 year old reacting like that?  OP if this is the first time, talk to the kid and chalk it up to he had a bad day but enforce consequences, just as there would be if he hit someone as an adult (since DCUM is all about that angle on things). If this happens a lot, look to your overall parenting. [/quote]

Obviously no one is considering it normal or appropriate and no one is excusing it.  Understanding what happened and why is a step towards teaching him how to manage his emotions for himself.  From long experience, I know I can turn into a raging bitch if I'm habitually short on sleep.  So I prioritize getting enough sleep and I learn to bite my tongue when I find myself getting triggered by little things when I'm tired.  Being able to control my out-sized reactions while I'm tired didn't just happen overnight.

OP, there's a lot of good advice in this thread on how to deescalate in the moment.  I would second looking into therapy -- CBT specifically might be beneficial if he has an overall pattern of anxiety or getting out of control.
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