Reply to Mother's Day. Feeling slighted.

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I think the ten year mark is when you realize that if resources can be leveraged for other people's events, wants, and needs, then those same resources can also be leveraged for your own wants and needs.  It's also the time when you start to realize that every special day was invented by somebody and that they are worth celebrating... very much like the folks who say "marriage is a piece of paper" until they find someone they really do want to marry. You are right to change your mind. I would tell your husband what you want. He's proven he can take the time to celebrate his mom, so he can take the time to celebrate you. Tell him what you want and that you want it this year. Don't yell at him and expect him to guess what went wrong. I recently saw a councelor for some postpardum issues. One of the things she reminded me was that my wants and needs matter just as much as everybody else's and that I need to communicate them. You need to understand the same thing. You keep making excuses for why people's suggestions don't work.  I don't know if you are locked into "I'm the chill wife" role, if your husband has been telling you that "you're not my mom, so I'm not going to honor you" for the past ten years, or if you just haven't found your voice. Whatever it is, speak up. If you don't want your husband to cancel brunch with his mom, tell him you and the kids are joining them. If he hesitates, tell him brunch places can always accomidate more people, and if they can't, he needs to find one that will. If he says "but my mom really wanted to go here" tell him that what you want matters just as much as what she wants. Tell him point blank your feelings about Mother's Day have changed and if you can, tell him why. My belief is that the ten year mark wakes many of us up in a way previous years haven't. [/quote]

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