Anonymous wrote:So you guys celebrate on SATURDAY. Make it your own Mother's Day, not a commercial holiday.

Sanest solution possible. You get the awesome lounge around day you desire. He gets a guilt-free brunch with his mom, after making breakfast for the kids and letting you sleep in a bit before he heads out for the 2pm brunch.

OP, I think the ten year mark is when you realize that if resources can be leveraged for other people's events, wants, and needs, then those same resources can also be leveraged for your own wants and needs. It's also the time when you start to realize that every special day was invented by somebody and that they are worth celebrating... very much like the folks who say "marriage is a piece of paper" until they find someone they really do want to marry. You are right to change your mind. I would tell your husband what you want. He's proven he can take the time to celebrate his mom, so he can take the time to celebrate you. Tell him what you want and that you want it this year. Don't yell at him and expect him to guess what went wrong. I recently saw a councelor for some postpardum issues. One of the things she reminded me was that my wants and needs matter just as much as everybody else's and that I need to communicate them. You need to understand the same thing. You keep making excuses for why people's suggestions don't work. I don't know if you are locked into "I'm the chill wife" role, if your husband has been telling you that "you're not my mom, so I'm not going to honor you" for the past ten years, or if you just haven't found your voice. Whatever it is, speak up. If you don't want your husband to cancel brunch with his mom, tell him you and the kids are joining them. If he hesitates, tell him brunch places can always accomidate more people, and if they can't, he needs to find one that will. If he says "but my mom really wanted to go here" tell him that what you want matters just as much as what she wants. Tell him point blank your feelings about Mother's Day have changed and if you can, tell him why. My belief is that the ten year mark wakes many of us up in a way previous years haven't.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mom and I planned our own day. We'll spend it together.

When I was 8.5 months pregnant dh cooked a big supper. And then left the mess for me to clean up.

18 years later he doesn't do much beyond a card and book. I'mean fine with that.

Why did you clean it up???

I went to bed early. The mess was still there the next morning. I needed my kitchen.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You had a wave of jealousy and took it out on a man who was expected to read your mind and know that you had changed opinions after several years.

Admit it. Let him make another plan for you (I was going to say "make amends" but the poor guy didn't even know he was doing wrong) and next time either speak up before hand or act like an adult when a wave of jealousy washes over you next time.

Wave of jealousy or not, OP has every right to be upset. (And OP admits many times to being jealous, unexpectedly.)

The only thing worse than a mama's boy is his mother.

Yeah, Op has young kids at home. If her dh is going to have brunch with his mom, he should also recognize the mother of his children - of course, maybe he has plans to do something nice for Op, too. Mother's Day hasn't happened, yet.

Anonymous wrote:You had a wave of jealousy and took it out on a man who was expected to read your mind and know that you had changed opinions after several years.

Admit it. Let him make another plan for you (I was going to say "make amends" but the poor guy didn't even know he was doing wrong) and next time either speak up before hand or act like an adult when a wave of jealousy washes over you next time.

Wave of jealousy or not, OP has every right to be upset. (And OP admits many times to being jealous, unexpectedly.)

The only thing worse than a mama's boy is his mother.

You had a wave of jealousy and took it out on a man who was expected to read your mind and know that you had changed opinions after several years.

Admit it. Let him make another plan for you (I was going to say "make amends" but the poor guy didn't even know he was doing wrong) and next time either speak up before hand or act like an adult when a wave of jealousy washes over you next time.

Do you do something special for him on Father's Day? If not, maybe he thinks that the two of you don't "do" Mother's/Father's Day?

But if you do do something to celebrate Father's Day then it seems pretty inconsiderate of him to ignore you and celebrate the day with his mom instead.

Your DH definitely needs to take the kids with him to brunch AND be on kid duty in the AM and let you get some rest.

Anonymous wrote:This is ridiculous. Mother's Day is about the younger moms. Older moms have been celebrated for 30-40 years and are no longer doing the hard labor of mothering. Being a mother to adult children is easy! Adult children take you to dinner, hand you sweet grandchildren to kiss and are still working. My mom and MIL are retired, travel often and never babysit.

I know right? Some people always make about them.

Anonymous wrote:My mom and I planned our own day. We'll spend it together.

When I was 8.5 months pregnant dh cooked a big supper. And then left the mess for me to clean up.

18 years later he doesn't do much beyond a card and book. I'mean fine with that.

Why did you clean it up???